Big Brother, Get Out of My Marriage!
Aseem Shukla
What is marriage? Is it a sacred rite or a civil right? What role, if any, should religious institutions, traditions or beliefs have in the legal act of marriage?
My marriage was a most sacred ceremony. Solemn it was not. Loud, colorful, celebratory, it bore the joyous and controlled chaos of a traditional Indian Hindu marriage. Our Sanskrit vows were translated in English and the marriage was consecrated in front of God -- Ganesha, Vishnu and Shiva, that is, all varied manifestations of One Supreme Being that Hindus worship. A few days later we went to the county courthouse, filled out some routine paperwork and picked up our State of Florida marriage license.
Was I "married" by our priest, or the courthouse clerk? I did not take vows in a church or temple, and my vows were taken in the names of several Gods. Would my evangelical Christian friends consider that a legitimate marriage? Who really does have the right to define what is a "marriage" or a "civil union?"
My marriage probably does not fit the paradigm of marriage that our Founding Fathers had known or had encountered. But their glorious prescience so evident in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution they endowed for us all guarantees a pluralism in which my own traditions stand equal before any other.
It is axiomatic that for our families and friends that attended our marriage, we were married the moment my wife and I completed seven steps circumambulating the Homa, or Holy Fire, chanting ancient Sanskrit verses. For my government, I was married once our "marriage certificate" was issued. My government need not care where, when, in front of whom or in front of which God, I became a spouse.
These issues elicit a specter of emotions and even bias as the argument above is extended to same-gender marriage. I can confidently state that even as I represent the Hindu American Foundation in this forum, I cannot pretend to reflect a false unanimity on the issue among two million Hindu Americans in this country. Indeed the spiritual home of all Dharmic traditions--Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism--India, was convulsed just a few weeks ago as the New Delhi High Court struck down a British era law that criminalized same-sex relationships. Even this manifestly belated ruling touched off protests that brought together Hindu, Muslim and Christian leaders in a show of unity that is often so difficult to pull off!
But as V. Swaminathan, a fellow member of the Hindu American Foundation Board of Directors writes in a soon-to-be-published piece in a South Asian LGBT magazine, Hindu scriptures expound that the goal of human life is freedom from the cycle of life and death through realizing that one's soul or Self is the underlying reality, distinct from one's physical body and personality (ego). As such, both homosexuals and heterosexuals must equally transcend wants and desires, including the sexual impulse, on the path to Self-realization. He provocatively argues that "a homosexual person who has mastered his or her sexual impulses is actually closer to moksha [salvation or liberation], than a heterosexual person who is a slave to sexual desires."
To be sure, Hindu marriage rites predominantly specify the sacrament between a man and a woman, and many temples priests and institutions may reserve the ritual to couples as they see fit. This right cannot be abridged. But I also know that the marriage ritual is a compilation of tradition and smriti literature (religious but not necessarily divinely revealed), which evolves with the prevailing mores of Hindu society.
Churches, synagogues, temples and mosques and all other places of worship enjoy an inalienable right to define marriage in conformity with their traditions as they interpret them. Government has no role in entering the sanctum sanctorum of religious life in our society.
At the Foundation, we have joined with Rev. Welton Gaddy and the Interfaith Alliance on church-state and religious liberty issues in a shared conviction that the First Amendment is a cornerstone of our pluralistic society that must be affirmed against the onslaught of too many assaults on its sanctity. Marriage, as a social contract between two people, enjoining commitment--a legal union of two individuals predicated on a commitment of love and sacrifice, should not be limited in the eyes of the law. Houses of Worship, do as you please.
We have succeeded in booting Big Brother out of our bedroom, we'll keep working on keeping it out of our houses of worship. And it should never get between my marriage!
Views expressed here are the personal views of Dr. Aseem Shukla, and do not necessarily represent those of the University of Minnesota or Hindu American Foundation.
Please click here to access Dr. Shukla's article directly on the Washington Post/Newsweek website.